Middle of Everywhere

Sometimes my mind becomes so tangled up with inconsistent thoughts that it becomes impossible to have a single thought at all. I miss the days of my past when I felt inspired to create ideas that ultimately fueled my wish to believe I could accomplish anything. These days, I spend the hours searching through my mind for the smallest of inspirations, none of which last longer than a fleeting moment because doubt and insecurity have taken over the role of being me. I am lost in the middle of everywhere.


Comments

Middle of Everywhere — 10 Comments

  1. Hang in there, hon. Just know, that you have cyber-support from me. Please feel free to also call. We can kvetch and comfort each other.

  2. Boy can I relate to that! But at least you got something you can’t be lost in… 🙂 Your friends! I’m here for you and offer one important fact.. I believe in Steven… and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt you will find your way. You have no idea how talented and wonderful you are as a person. I wish you could see in you what I do. Love you!

    • Getting older when you’re an extra emotional and sensitive person like me, is rough at times. Friends are so very important and I really appreciate the phone conversations we share. A weird mood can be broken just by hearing another voice and our talks have done exactly that for me sometimes. Yesterday’s mood has disappeared….for now. 🙂

    • I agree with what you wrote: the talented and wonderful person part. I can say that for certain, since Steven and I had coffee together, too.

  3. I think I have u told how I seemed to be searching for something the last few years, searching for what or why or who I do not know. but there seems to be a pattern to it like when I quit drinking and “lost” many friends, my fault I see now because I do not want to hang at bars, but it would not kill me to in and visit them. I keep finding myself getting involved with many new people of all faiths (and none). I wonder why these people – I adore most of them and all have varied interests and knowledge. and I am in a good place right now – a happy, beautiful place. but even as I note this, these friends and I will once again each go our separate ways – leaving me much like u feel – kinda dazed and confused – I used to get high and was convinced I hade solved to world’s problems now I get high and If I want to bring any thing back to reality – I have to remember to write it down (and then remember where did I put those thoughts and ideas on that scrap of paper that was once big enough to solve everything!) so, steve why don’t u try going out and looking for new inspiring people or a new place to have coffee or something, I found many of my new friends at free classes, pilates, meditation groups etc – like a different knd of music? try going to an orchestra at a small comfy venue – I think the more u open your eyes and let them search, u will find many inspirations. good luck , sue

    • You are so right, Sue. I have been trying to develop new friendships lately, especially after losing so many last year over the election. However, I’m also having a renewed appreciation for the life-long friends who have been steadily enhancing my life since the friendships began.

      Thank you for being so open about your personal journey. You are very insightful and have posted many valuable comments to this blog and I have always taken stock in the advice you share. Our on-line friendship is a great comfort to me because you are so honest about your feelings.

      I feel much better today, but that doesn’t mean my “mid-life crisis” won’t hang around until I’m 60! lol The beauty of life is in the journey and not the destination…I just have to convince myself of that sometimes.

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