Allergies are going to be the death of me because I’m fairly certain my life will end on the backside of a sneeze. It’s not the most glamorous parting, but at least it won’t be unexpected.
They say your heart stops or skips a beat each time you sneeze, so according to my calculations, I have experienced heart failure almost everyday of my life! Allergies are my immune system’s way of telling my body to screw off! Pollen, dust, rain, wind, perfume, cologne, spring, summer, fall, winter and any derivatives thereof, were destined to be my worst enemy from the moment I inhaled my first breath.
To add insult to injury, when I was young and in school, not only was I teased for being a skinny shy kid who sucked at sports, I was also teased for nonstop sniffling and sneezing and having a tissue up to my nose every second of the day, in which, the bully kids used as reason to give me…yet another…derogatory nickname of ‘Snot Rag’.
So here I sit, decades later, with a snot rag in hand, a runny nose, itchy swollen eyes and a massive sneeze lingering in the background, asking myself if today is the day that sneeze will snuff me out.