Drama Queens

Gay DramaAt the turn of the millennium my mother experienced the unfortunate joy of living next door to a pair of middle-aged gay drama queens. In the beginning of their friendship everything went well as the older pot-bellied queen (Steve) enjoyed being a stay-at-home drunk who greeted my mother daily with polite waves and smiles as she arrived home from work each afternoon. The younger one (Darrell) was a hard-working man who spent most of his time earning a living to support the drinking habits of his lazy boyfriend and to buy supplies for their home renovation.

The friendship between my mother and Steve grew as he slowly seeped into her daily life with more frequent carport conversations and random unannounced visits. Their unusual relationship remained consistent for about a year or two and Steve took on the role of the “fix-it” guy next door. Eventually the neighborly friendship between the trio came to an abrupt end because Steve overstepped the boundaries of trust and was caught spreading lies and gossip throughout the neighborhood. But this story isn’t really about gay drama, it’s about the unprofessional reaction of the mobile home park’s manager as she responded to a false complaint of homophobia filed by Steve in retaliation to my mother ending their friendship.

(Words highlighted in yellow are offensive to the LGBT community.)Original letter blog-BLURRED

As if the letter was not offensive enough, the words tolerance, lifestyle, and chosen, all have negative undertones that reflect the ignorance of society in understanding homosexuality. It’s not tolerance the gay community wants, it’s acceptance.

TOLERANCE: acceptance of different views: the acceptance of the differing views of other people, e.g. in religious or political matters, and fairness toward the people who hold these different views.

To say one is tolerant of gays is to say one does not agree with homosexuality. Being gay is NOT an opinion, it is a fact.

The word lifestyle isn’t unique to gay people as we live our lives just the same as anyone else. We work, shop, eat, sleep, raise families, visit friends, etc.. The correct usage would be “human lifestyle” because sexuality does not have anything to do with the way a person lives.

Lastly, homosexuality is not a choice. We are born this way.

Needless to say, my mother who fiercely defends the LGBT community, marched herself down to the community office and raised a bit of Sagittarian hell with the manager over her accusation of homophobia. By the time she was finished, the manager’s tail was neatly tucked between her legs and an apology letter was promptly sent.


After the apology letter, everything worked out between my mother and the manager of the park and they formed a respectful friendship. Unfortunately, the political incorrectness of the manager’s word choice about homosexuality was never discussed. Jeanne was not necessarily anti-gay. She was most likely uniformed and socially preconditioned to view the LGBT community through the eyes of society’s discriminatory past.

As for Steve and Darrell…well….what can be said about a pair of washed-up old gay drama queens? For a year or two they continued to disrupt the lives of other residents and eventually were forced to moved out-of-state, friendless and despised.


Drama Queens — 11 Comments

  1. Wow! Amazing times from then until now in so many ways. Some things, many things have changed in favor of the gay community but it’s never enough nor is it fast enough. But I do think people in general are changing. Education brings forth understanding. It’s the saying “if and when you know better you do better.” When people learn and understand what being gay is and understand what gay people have had to go through all their lives and live in fear of being found out by others that they are gay and have had to live in fear of being killed just for being who they are…the depth of that is so deep and so scary. How could anyone not even want to try to understand and help bring the freedom to gays to live as themselves without fear just like any one else might live.
    It’s great that your Mom took this letter on and went there and straightened them right out LOL I can just hear that conversation in my head. Good for Barb! That was in 2004. You have a wonderful mother!

    • My mother has never been one to take shit from anybody! I’m sure the conversation didn’t go well for the manager when my mom confronted her.

      “If you know better, you do better” is a great quote, Gail. Hopefully the manager learned a lesson from all this. Surely she recognized her lack of professionalism by getting involved with the personal lives of residents, but her politically incorrect view about homosexuality may or may not have changed.

      I wasn’t directly involved in the situation back then, but if it were to happen today, I most certainly would correct the manager’s choice of words.

  2. Your mom is really terrific! When I bristle at language regarding women, people often remark that words can’t hurt. As a bullied kid, you learned that they DO. Words perpetuate stereotypes, promote underlying negative perspectives and generally buffet everyone if not used well. The manager meant well with her message but they reflect her ignorance. I hope she has learned since then. Another great post Steven.

    • The lesson she undoubtedly learned was to stay out of the personal lives of tenants and to not give hearsay any credibility. It will bite you in the rear every time!

      I look forward to the day when situations like this are not commonplace. However, where there is a bitter old gay drama queen, there is gonna be trouble. 🙂

  3. Tolerance is a word that always inflames me too. I have argued with several Christians on several websites when they insist that they are somehow wonderful people because they tolerate “the gays”, which is another use of insensitive terminology! I am a Seventies teenager who, once I’d come out and gained some balls, never failed to fight back against all the numbskulls in society that found it easier to hate than educate themselves. Forty years on, and not much has changed. Thankfully, I live in the UK where it is more rare and unusual to find someone standing up and admitting that they are a Christian. Most people nod and smile at them, then scurry away from them for being weird.
    I wish the US could do the same. I read stuff about America still has a population of about 90% that are religious, and atheists are treated like lepers! Another incredible fact I read the other day was that 77% of Americans believe in angels!
    Steven, you need to move to Europe!! LOL

    • America produces a shit-load of uneducated, bible-thumping, numbskulls, Rob. Things are changing though. The LGBT community and its supporters have outed the Christian discrimination that has permeated American society for hundreds of years. Laws are changing in favor of gays and the result is slowly rendering the Christian stronghold obsolete. We have a long way to go, but we’ve traveled many miles since the 1970’s.

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